Friday, March 13, 2009

Know any people like this?

OK, so my wife has a friend that she has known for most of her life. Let's call her Mandy.

Ok, so Mandy seems to have a long stream ( I have been with my wife for over ten years - I hear of at least two "Mandy" relationship issues each year) of relationship issues.

Let's be blunt, failed relationships.

I don't really get along with "Mandy" that well but I have tried to convey that it is her tactics that are causing her to have such bad luck with dating and keeping her from achieving her personal end goal of getting married and having kids.

Ok lets be fair, she is in her late 20's and is reasonably attractive (by all means she is no Angelina but she is pretty far from a Roseanne) and moderately intelligent. She seems to lack some basic common sense in her personal relationships. She forgets that she has friends outside of her relationship, even if she has just met this new prospect. The rest of the world stops and suddenly she is"alive and the world is new and built just for two" - and that is every time she meets someone.

What I have tried to point out to her is that Those Three Little Words that she seems so pressed to profess to my wife just after meeting some new guy must also be told to this unfortunate fool that has misstepped into her life.

I have told her over and over that even though she must be excited to have "finally found the one" that she is totally compatible with, do not blurt out that you’re in love with him for at least a couple of months! If she tells the new guy in the first few dates he is going to figure out that she is really the psycho marry me chick who's biological clock is ticking like a time bomb. She tends to read infatuation as something more real any how.

Okay, we as men know that one day you might want to get married, we’re not stupid, but there’s an order to these things. Subscribing to the bride and wedding magazines and studying diamond cuts and menu's for the perfect wedding before she has even met a guy is classic Mandy move. So when her new guy turns up at her mothers place (yup almost 30 and still living with mommy and daddy) and sees a bookshelf full of dog-eared bridal magazines and her computer’s home page the Disney Wedding Celebration page, her new guy is going to suddenly get very busy at work.

I don't think she cares who it is, I think she just wants to get married to someone, anyone. There is another problem though. She is a huge wannabe tomboy. Not a want to work on cars chick, that might actually help her out. No she's the wearing expensive clothing and swilling beer's, belching with the guys and crushing cans on the table chick. She thinks she is sophisticated and worldly but when she is doing jagerbombs and belching the alphabet at the local bar, I have seen more than one guy leave the table and walk away, far away. Cracking her knuckles, pinging beer caps, let em tell you, she's a catch fit for a troller.

I don't know about you but I think a little femininity might give her a bit of an edge.

The longer she is single the more I have to hear about her and her poor love life.
Sorry guys, but I Hope that one of you is sucked into her trap sooner or later.
As she is getting older now, I am sure she will be trying the "I'm pregnant" snare at some point over the next 3 or 4 guys. Before I get hate mail, I mean she will be attempting to intentionally get pregnant even though she professes continuously it would be against her Catholic faith to have premarital sex, and then tells my wife about the latest late night of back room bar sex or how the back of her car is too small, since she obviously can't take the guy she met home to mom and dad.